Why I Don’t Believe in Fixing Yourself
“You don't heal by becoming someone else. You heal by becoming more whole”
For a long time, I spoke about unconditional self-love. And yet, quietly, I was still trying to 'edit' myself.
I believed in compassion, acceptance, gentleness - especially for others. But when it came to parts of me, there were versions I wanted to ignore and keep hidden. The messy parts. The inconvenient ones. The parts that didn't feel particularly "evolved".
About a year ago, as I began working more deeply with the Akashic Records, something landed - not as a revelation, but as an uncomfortable truth...
I realised that while I was teaching unconditional love, there were parts of myself I was actively pushing away. And that's when I understood: I didn't fully know what unconditional self-love actually meant.
The quiet harm in "fixing yourself"
We live in a culture obsessed with fixing. Fixing your mindset. Fixing your triggers. Fixing your past. Fixing the parts that feel too much or not enough. Growth and responsibility matter - but the language of fixing carries an unspoken belief:
Something about you is broken. Broken things need repairing. Broken things need correcting. Broken things don't get welcomed as they are.
But what if the broken parts of us we're trying to fix aren't broken at all? What if they're simply unheard?
The parts I didn't want to love
Through my Akashic Records work, I started to notice the versions of myself I kept at arm's length:
the one who made mistakes
the one who reacted instead of responded
the one who wasn't always calm, kind or self-aware
the one who carried shame, guilt and regret.
I could hold compassion for these parts in others - but in myself, I wanted to move past them. Heal them quickly. Rise above them. Leave them behind. But those parts didn't want to disappear. They wanted to be acknowledged.
What unconditional self-love actually asks of us
Unconditional self-love doesn't mean approving of everything we've done. It doesn't bypass accountability or deny harm. It means: I don't abandon myself because of my imperfections.
It means staying present with the version of you who didn't know better at the time. The version shaped by fear, survival, conditioning or pain.
Healing doesn't happen because we exile those parts. It happens when we bring them back into the room.
Why I don't believe you need fixing
Because fixing implies brokenness - and brokenness created urgency, pressure and self-rejection. And self-rejection is the opposite of healing.
I believe growth happens when we feel safe enough to look at ourselves honestly. When we stop fighting who we've been. When we listen instead of judge.
You don't heal by becoming someone else. You heal by becoming more whole.
Coming back to yourself
This realisation has shaped everything I create now. Not containers designed to overhaul you. Not promises to turn you into a "better" version of yourself. But invitations to come back. To reconnect. To start listening to yourself again.
Because the parts of you you're trying to hide aren't the problem. They're the ones asking to be loved back into the room.
I've created a starting point called the Reconnecting With Your Inner Compass Challenge - a short, 3-day audio-led challenge to help you pause and reconnect with yourself, without fixing, forcing or analysing. It's for moments when you don't need another strategy - just a way back to yourself. You can join it HERE.
